This tag is going around in the blogger world and when I read this fantastic post of Yuvika I knew I had to do this.But then the best idea would be that we all talk about this because these questions are actually well thought and of course well written by Yuvika.
The above question and a host of associated questions, including those below (reproduced from TBGâ€™s tag), are ones that I have asked and answered so may a times myself.
Asked less, answered more than a trillion times friends, relatives, colleagues, and even random strangers!
I think my replies have varied only slightly based on my mood and disposition at that moment in time. Here I make a conscious effort to introspect, retrospect, and ummm, well, to be honest.
Before I bring on the volley of Qs, some basic facts Well into my 20â€™s, I have been married to the love of my life for more than three and a half years – and, oh boy, you could pass me as â€œwell marriedâ€!
- Are you more programmed, more regulated in your thoughts and deeds?
A definite yes! I have learned to think twice before I speak and act (in most situations I try to restrict my tongue-in-cheek responses to myself or to a close circle of dear ones), and coming from me, believe me, that takes a huge effort!
I am definitely more politically correct, diplomatic, and conforming to established institutions than I was a couple of years back.
This programming manifests itself in subtle ways I am more patient with relatives and extended family, I try to think from the otherâ€™s point of view (however I dumb it may be to start with ), I have learnt to make allowances for nosey, pesky people around : .
- Or are you simply calmer? Assuaged?
If I take this as a continuation of the previous question, my actions and reaction are definitely more controlled and in line with expectations, but somehow, (even though it may sound contradictory) the raving lunatic in me is not cured.
Assuaged? My husband will do a double somersault laughing his head off if I respond in the affirmative.
I am still the crazy person my friends and family swore on way back! My idiosyncrasies remain intact (touch wood) irrespective of the waves of time that keep crashing in!
I am still bonkers enough to break into a dance in the middle of the road, have ice cream for three meals a day, make inappropriate comments in public and then laugh out loud in an â€œunlady-likeâ€ fashion, threaten my husband with a call to 911 if he tries waking me up early in the morning (in India, canâ€™t threaten him with 100 coz – it’s seldom answered), and make him blow balloons and decorate the cake-knife with a fancy ribbon to celebrate my birthday!
- Are you still in love?
Ok, honestly, a resounding YES – Am still very much in love (phew, thank god!) with the person I married, with the wonderful family and friends I share my life with, and with the blessed life god has bestowed on me.
- Or are you simply loving? Caring, fond and loyal..?
I wonder why this question begins with an â€˜orâ€™. Am I in love or am I simply loving?
Hell yeah, I am in love and I am loving to those who love me back!
I am no angel or saint; I care for people who matter to me.
I am fond of all the people I willingly include in my everyday life.
I am fiercely loyal to my loved ones – friends and family.
Marriage has not changed a thing or the intensity when it comes to love and loyalty. I was always the way I am now!
- What does marriage do to you?
Marriage makes you fall in love with your beloved all over again. Nothing like waking up to the brightest sunshine in your life.
Marriage convinces you that you made the best decision ever, coz there would be no other man in the whole world who would bring back the entire medical store for a slight cut.
Marriage makes you hate the guy you married when all his promises of love and never ending support are sacrificed at the altar of a stupid cricket match!
Marriage exasperates the life out of you when good-for-nothing relatives and well-wishers are waiting for the ever elusive â€œgood newsâ€.
Marriage makes you believe in the K-serials when you disagree with your MIL on the color of the curtains.
Marriage provides the much needed privacy from the ever-so-curious world outside. Finally, you can be there for each other, always, without having to explain your relationship status.
Marriage makes you independent and responsible and secure. People suddenly start taking you more seriously.
Marriage makes you dependent this one person controls your emotional and mental well being almost completely.
Marriage teaches you that life is not perfect as the Mills & Boons and Yash Chopras of the world will have us believe. There are tiffs, and there are misunderstandings, and it takes a lot of hard work to keep it all together for the sake of love.
But as in the end of all love stories, it is always well worth the effort you put in!
- And finally the big one: Has marriage killed the girl in you?
NO! I would never let that happen. Vish would never let that happen. Though he would be happy if the girl in me grew up a bit in-keeping with my age, I still choose to believe heâ€™d rather I stay the person he fell in love with it is the complete package you get, as we both often joke!
Having said that, life has its own way of moulding you into a more mature and understanding being.
With marriage comes a new chapter in your life, with new characters, new story lines, new plots, never-before-been-in situations, not-trained-for experiences but the individual that is you remains and must remain essential to the core whatever be the story!
Dreams donâ€™t come true by making wishes on shooting stars, but donâ€™t stop dreaming.
Love is also about you taking the first step forward no matter how huge your ego is, but donâ€™t stop loving.
He seems to suffer from the most incurable form of amnesia when it comes to dates your first date, the date he proposed, your parentsâ€™ birthdays! But donâ€™t stop celebrating (kick him, for sure!)
Miracles donâ€™t happen always as per expectations, but donâ€™t stop believing in them.
Faith and hope make the world go round!
Marriage is about accommodating, including and sharing, but donâ€™t compromise the individuality and the uniqueness that define you.
Marriage is about being the doting wife, the responsible daughter-in-law and eventually the loving mother, but donâ€™t let the girl in you die.
She should be the beautiful, inimitable foundation on which you build your life.
So now its your turn guys…I tag every one who is reading this post.Come on don’t be lazy this time . Answer all these questions below and let us know weather marriage has killed the girl in you or not ?But before you start I am going to do this first.
You can visit Yuvika musing here