So I thought about my life a lot when I wrote this post. The topic is one that is on all of our minds at some point or the other. Wives waiting for their husbands, these days husbands waiting for their wives, children waiting for their parents, parents waiting for children….all waiting and waiting for their loved ones to return home from work.
So what is the answer to all of this? One has to creating a healthy balance between home and work.
How To Manage Home & Work :-
YA RIGHT!!! EASIER SAID THAN DONE!!!
I’ve decided to write this article with some advice from my own experiences.
When I got married I knew that my aim in life was to have a happy marriage. Nothing else mattered. This was my goal and I was going to achieve it if I had to stand upside down. I would achieve it no matter what.
- So set your goal/goals in life. What’s most important to you? Develop a plan that helps you achieve and balance those things.
I know that money brings the presents home. My husband was able enough to provide for the both of us and Kelly (she’s our four legged girl). Let’s face it, when is money enough? If I worked I could buy my own little presents. Right?
- Second, assess your financial needs. Would cutting back on work hours or one spouse staying at home work for you?
My husband does not really delegate much of his duties. He is passionate about his profession and because of that he wants to do all of the work himself. Once home he’s only grumbling about how much he does!
- Put a limit to the amount of time spent on work whether you are in an office or at home. Let your boss and co-workers know what those limits are. Your parameters will define your time table enabling you to work more effectively so that you can switch to the next task which is home when the time right.
Sometimes I get calls for animal rescues at night or I am discussing something with someone when Sandeep has just entered. I take for granted sometimes that he’s home and continue with what I was doing. I’ve often heard him say” I’m home and you are on the phone, keep all this for when I am not there. You have the entire day Tina.”
- Learn how to switch gears. Turn off the computer, stop multi-tasking during dinner and focus fully on your kids or spouse. Keep the phone at bay for a while. Your loved ones deserve all of you when you are capable of giving them just that. Once you are home, the outside world is secondary.
I make sure I am in the kitchen every night at 8 come what may getting dinner ready, then setting the house in order, taking Kelly for her night walk and showering so I am neat and tidy. Everyone likes to come home to a neat home and clean, orderly people to share the evening with. Once my husband is home I serve dinner and we chat, watch some TV and then go off to bed. I don’t have to spend that precious one hour that I get with him on anything thing else but him!
- Keep a schedule of daily chores to be done during week days for each member of the family and stick to it. If you maintain the house on a daily basis it will require less work to keep it clean, which results in more time for family and fun.
I love to make weekend plans and then stick to them. ‘He’ on the other hand follows plans only when you hold a gun to his head. Most times after pestering him to head out he says “ok dress up, we’ll leave in 15 minutes. Hurry 15 minutes” and I should have actually learnt a lesson or 2 after 10 years of marriage but no. So the end result is I am dressed up and waiting but he’s started watching a match on TV so now we can’t leave till he’s done. I end up sulking or making faces or pacing around the room and then he gets bugged and says” Please, don’t give me a time table on a holiday also. All week I’m running to be on time everywhere. Cut me some slack”
- Do not fill your family’s free time with scheduled activities. It does keep everyone’s calendars full but it also keeps the stress levels high. Allow for completely unscheduled free time. Let things be spontaneous that way it will be more enjoyable for everyone.
Since I do not have a job outside of home, I do long to talk to my husband more often than he does. We just do a “hi, hello, I’m alive” during the day but during his two hour drive home at night we talk via the blue tooth thing that the vehicle is wired with. No one to disturb us and he is doing nothing else but driving. Once home at 10 pm he wants to eat and go off to bed as soon as possible. You just got to do the best that you can with whatever you have.
- Get your family to use communication effectively. People want to call you or stay in touch because they love you. Try to set up a system such that you can be reached easily so you can enjoy being with them even though you are not with them.
Sunday is for church and home. We never do any entertaining that day because it is the only day we get for a real change of pace. It is a day just for revival, a day to relax and calm down.
- Keep your weekend reserved for your family only. If you have two days off then great for you! Do your errands on one day and relax on the next.
1-2 days a week my husband hangs out with his buddies after work. I never phone and pester him to come home because he needs that time to just be himself and network with the other guys. Yes, that means he will eat with them and come home late, so I do not get to share that nights meal with him nor can we have a late night chat. It is sacrifice I make or rather have to make.
- Give your spouse or if both of you are working…time to be alone, in a fun or de-stressing environment. For some it means going to a pub and for others it could mean a jog. Enjoyment can be expressed in different ways. To each his own.
Of late we are thinking of buy a small flat in Mumbai. Renewing the lease every year on a rented apartment is difficult and involves brokers. We sat down the other day and re-assessed out our finances and thought about what it would take from the both of us if we took a loan. What would we have to give up to make loan payments every month? What we were willing to actually give up? Would it mean me having to work outside the home? Did we want this flat so badly? Is it worth all the trouble?
- Every 6 months review your goals, priorities and finances. It will help keep things in perspective and continue to pare down commitments and responsibilities until you find a mix that works for you.
You know this topic is very debatable, Home versus Work. One can argue that work is all that is important because that is what puts the meal on the table but if I look at what life has taught me, it is that your marriage/family are the most important. I’ve seen people happy with just minimal necessities. They are happy because they know that daal and rice is enough. The lack of pickle or sabzi at the side is fine because after that meal when they lie down to sleep, they sleep with a smile because of the lovely people who make their life worth living are beside them. To be with them is what is their life’s aim and one that they will make endless sacrifices for always.
I hope that this article helps you if you are in a similar situation and trying to manage your home and work efficiently and yet trying to garner time for your loved ones. I hope that the mistakes I make and the rectifications that I have made will help you in your efforts as well. God Bless.
What do you do to manage your time at home and work efficiently? Do share it with us.
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