I have been facing weight issues since my teenage years. I used to be a skinny child but as soon as the puberty kicked in, I started putting on weight. The reasons could not be explained and was mostly attributed to wrong eating habits and sedentary lifestyle. As a 15 year old teenage girl, I used to wonder that I am eating as much as any other friend of mine and playing as much as they do, then why is it that I am fat? Of course, I couldn’t find the answers to these questions.
Somehow, it seemed that my obesity had given the right to every individual in this world to come up to me and suggest to eat less. One of the incidents I remember categorically. When I was 13, I wanted to play tennis and there was a race test before the admission. Being fat and not in practice, I came last. Already I felt disheartened, but what really curbed my spirits was that a father of one of the other contestant came up to me and said “You should eat less”. Being a child, I couldn’t respond to the remark but it definitely left a scar on me.
Despite being conscious of my health but the constant pressures from the society as well as my own family only made me rebellious. I couldn’t make sense of what is meant by eating less. On top of it, if your own family is not supportive of you, then it is difficult to think straight. As the years passed, the rebel in me stopped caring about my health totally. My family’s constant reminder of how embarrassed they feel to accompany me to any event such as wedding etc., pushed me deeper into depression. The vicious circle of depression and binging on junk began.
A complex developed inside me that I wasn’t pretty and basically a non-entity in this world. Despite all these things, there was one thing I that I loved. And it was dancing. Even When I was 95 kgs, I danced beautifully and loved the flexibility in my body. But, deep inside me there was emptiness. I wanted the acknowledgement from the world that I was beautiful and a wonderful dancer and more than the world, I wanted it from my own family. Unfortunately, this desire to be recognized did not motivate me to shed weight, rather made me more destructive as somewhere in my subconscious I had accepted that I am not worth anything, so it didn’t really matter whether I am fat or not.
Years passed, I got busy with my Ph.D. and marriage. However, the depression hand sunk in so deep that I reached obese class I, class II and class III without even realizing. Then one fine day, I woke up in the morning and couldn’t get up from my bed due to severe lower back pain. MRI revealed that 3 out of 5 discs in my lower back have degenerated. Also, the real cause of my obesity was detected to be PCOD. First thing I thought was that I would not be able to dance anymore. Second, to see my husband going through so much pain because of me just ached me more. Doctor suggested that I undergo a bariatric surgery to lose weight or I may be bedridden for life. I was 115kgs that time. However, I decided that a surgery is no solution, but determination is. I joined a dietician and followed the routine. I came down to 103 kgs in 5 months. But I couldn’t keep up the diet, as I felt drained out of energy, which affected my work. Not following the diet, I ended up gaining again and reached 107.2. Then, while sifting through the wiseshe blog, I saw Anamika’s weight loss story. It inspired me to get in touch with the IWB team and began my journey. In three months I have lost 11 kgs and felt more energetic. It’s an easy diet to follow and maintain as I ended up changing my lifestyle totally. I never thought I would say this, but I enjoy and love my diet. Today I weigh 96.2 kgs and I know that there is a long way to go before I reach my target, but I am determined and have the IWB support system to fight this battle through. I am a happier and confident person now. Through my journey of weight gain and weight loss, I just want to share certain lessons I learnt alongside.
- Being overweight is fine as long as you are healthy.
This doesn’t mean that you should not attempt to lose weight if you are currently healthy. You need to avoid the health issues in future and thus concentrate on weight loss as a preventive measure. But do not get worked up if you overweight within normal range.
- Being fat does not mean that you are not pretty.
Because at the end of the day being beautiful and pretty is not defined by the zero size figures. It is defined by your heart and mind. If you think positive and have a kind heart, people automatically love you. In my own journey, despite all my complexes, I made friends who loved me to the core and cared for me.
- Being obese doesn’t mean that you won’t find love.
I remember once when I was 25, my maasi(mother’s sister)q2and I were having a discussion on my wedding. I said that I won’t find a guy as I am fat. And she said, you are lucky because you are fat. I didn’t understand this at first. Then she elaborated, that you are lucky because whichever guy you will find would truly love the real you as he would see through your physical body. And yes, I ended up finding my true love, who loved me despite anyway I looked and all that mattered to him was the person I truly am.
- Do not get stuck in the vicious circle.
People will always want to pull you down in life. But never repeat the mistake I made. Don’t fall into the trap of haters. Just remember that there are always people who will love you the way you are. In my case, it was my friends and my partner. I got the strength to work towards my weight loss due to these people who love me. I feel responsible to them.
- Determination is the key.
During weight loss there would highs and lows. Sometimes you will lose a lot and sometimes not even 100gms. On top of it there would be cravings and bad days. Do not give into it. If you are determined, then weight is nothing. You can fight it and then once you start nearing the target, you would be so happy and proud of yourself.
- Have a support system.
It is absolutely necessary to have people to support you for weight loss. Because it is these people who care for you and are as involved in your journey as you are. In my case, it is the IWB team, my partner and my friends who are totally committed to my goal. I feel fortunate that I contacted IWB as I not only gained the diet plans but constant motivation even during the toughest of times. During this journey, I lost my job and I would have given into temptation to have junk, but the IWB team didn’t let me fall. That not only kept my weight in check but also boosted my confidence. Today, I feel that if I can conquer this, then I can conquer anything.
In the end all I can say is:
“Be determined and the world is yours!”
Thanks everyone for reading such a long post.
My weight loss since I joined the IWB programme
Read more about weight loss programme here or mail at [email protected]