Time to vent it out !
I have been active on YouTube since one and half year or little more now. Don’t remember the exact date or month. Initially, I just started it thinking I have a lot of lipsticks so lets make good use of them. I then started video swatching them and as my passion towards the medium grew, I started doing more videos. As I have been blogging for about 6 years so I know all about the negativity which comes with an online medium and frankly I don’t even bother about it much. I am usually a tough nut to crack and its actually pretty easy to just ignore the haters. What people have to offer, they will give it to you. Many times I have imagined girls returning tired from office in evening, all frustrated and then picking up their laptops or phones and bashing out every blogger and YouTuber they hop on to. You see! it’s pretty safe to bash anyone on web because you are behind a screen.No one will come and grab your neck or question you in person.
There have been many times when I have been showered oodles of love by an employee/readers/blogging friend and few months later, without any reason, we lose touch. I understand there is always an initial curiosity to know about private life or personality of a public figure and when you get to know them then you just get over the admiration phase. This is the reason many bloggers/ YouTubers prefer not to interact or open themselves to others and maintain that mystery around them. Anyways! this is not what I want to write in this post .May be I will elaborate all this some other time.
I have done a lot of YouTube videos on my makeup channel. Often they have received very good response from the viewers and then there are times when they have received luke-warm response too. But a recent incident just shook me up.
I saw Deepika Padukone IIFA makeup look and I thought of doing a video on it. I have done several several smoky eye makeup videos, in fact, I have been told umpteen times how good my smoky eye makeup look is. I found the makeup pretty easy so I went ahead and started shooting without planning or trying it once before hand (Note to self : never do that again).
You see making a YouTube video is not easy. You have to get everything right – from artist, script, props, to even background and lighting and then you have to execute it, edit it, upload it, add thumbnails etc. There is a lot which goes behind while we do a single video. When Karan Johar makes a movie he builds a whole team. There is a director, script writer, actor, editor, voice over and 100 of things but when we YouTubers make a video then it’s just us. We do 100 things and if one doesn’t come out right then whole effort goes waste. Even a small time movie director or producer who has little money will need all the above mentioned professionals.
Being a mommie-preneur, there are 100 other things too which are going around. My child needs me and of course she demands my presence whenever she wishes to. She doesn’t fully understand what momma is doing, she only tells me “Her waqt makeup karte rehte ho”
So that day when I was doing Deepika Padukone video my daughter dipped my brushes and blender in shampoo. (Yes you read that right, shampoo !!) I had no idea about it and it was terribly hot when I was shooting and I had to switch off the fan as I wanted to save time and avoid the voiceover. I had this anxiety to publish my video ASAP so no matter how wrong things were going, I kept doing it. I had no appropriate brushes to do my makeup, it was all sweaty and my beauty blender was filled with shampoo. To make it worse the blending shade which i used on my eyes looked grey So as expected my video didn’t turn out as it should have been. Still in my crazy mind, I went ahead and published it which I still regret. Those who have not had a good laugh watching it let me give you the pleasure to watch it .
The moment I published it I started getting too many dislikes. Frankly speaking, they don’t bother me. I have often shared this with some of my YouTuber friends. Many have said that the moment they publish their video, there is at least one dislike. I always tell them we can not please every one in fact we shouldn’t even aim for that. I always used to think that there can not be one person who doesn’t like mangoes. Everyone loves juicy and utterly sweet mango but then my very own daughter doesn’t like them. Like they say
“You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.”
But what moved me was the amount of hate I received. Lot of girls started suggesting how I should have rightly done the makeup. I don’t mind constructive criticism. It improves me and encourages to work harder but then those comments started to turn ugly. Some of them even called me as if I look like a b***h. I then decided to stop the nonsense and closed the comment section. Whole day I didn’t do anything and asked myself if I really would like to continue but next day again I was back and I decided to do one more smoky tutorial. Interesting thing is when you do a bad video, people tear you apart but when you know you have done good video the same ladies have nothing to say. Oh! probably they just miss those videos ..
Women tear you apart but do we see this kind of thing with men? They might advise you that you can do better or they will have comments like hey dude! hope all okay! seen you doing better work… but when it comes to ladies they will start with all kind of mean and filthy comments.
If you follow me on social media I will come across as a feminist but there are somethings where we women have to improve a lot. There is always a sense of insecurity which keeps revolving around women. I rarely see that in men .
Anyway! here is the response to all those who trashed my youtube video or who hate me ..I love you because you guys make me sure I do better and not take things lightly
And those who took time to read this article ..I hope you become and raise strong women.