What It Is Like To Be A Merchant Navy Officer’s Wife?
A question, I am asked most of the time from acquaintances, long lost relatives & new people! Well, I happily oblige them with utmost pride. Also, it takes a lot of strength to be away from the only person in the whole wide world whom you chose to spend your life with.
Its not something a couple living together will ever understand! Nor do I expect anyone to understand or anything but just because, he doesn’t live with me, that doesn’t make me a poor little thing! I have my own life back home& few priorities as well.
Basically, one thing I always get to hear around is that I have to live with “His” parents! Come on! I can live anywhere I wish to, along with my husband, but if I chose to live with his parents/ family what is the big deal? It is not something which is forced on me! Last year itself, I had to leave home for a good one year for study purpose, without any parent. Living with his family is more of a Choice than a liability!!
I am sure every girl, after getting married, goes through a lot of life changes! So how come a navy officer wife all of a sudden changes to someone you should feel sorry for as she doesn’t live with her husband?? Seriously!! I miss him every day but that doesn’t mean I am making compromises or adjustments every hour of the day! I chose to marry him much before he went on the First Sailing. I knew what I was getting into and I am really happy with the way I live.
I am madly in love with my Mariner and that is what makes it going even if the thousands of miles separates us! I am really strong in handling the distance so my extended family feels proud of me for not being a “cry baby” while blood relations doubt me to be in distress when he is not around & sometimes show their concern in such funny ways that I really laugh it out!
Being a Navy Officer’s spouse has its own charm. You get to spend so many holidays together without any work related worry. It is like a paid holiday extending to 4-5months. You can use the time to travel a lot, chill around like crazy lazy people. Yes we do not fit in the typical “Monday to Friday” corporate life frame but who cares!! Everyday is a weekend & months feel like long due vacation for all of us when the sailor is back home for holidays!
Sometimes we get Christmas & New Year while other times we get our birthdays and anniversaries! We cherish all of that which comes in front of us! This year itself I celebrated my Seventh Anniversary & now looking forward to Holi madness next year!
I get to keep myself occupied with whatever I like, I worked, took a break went on to study something, came back, figured out more of what I can be, now working again and maybe I will be exploring the sea same time next year! Who knows!
Whether he sails or not I am the one handling finances, taking decisions for all of us! I go out with friends & family, enjoy get-together, do lots of shopping, plan our next holiday, workout daily, give time to my hobbies, read fiction, do video chats & send texts just as we used to do during our courtship days!
When the sailor is back he pampers me crazy & everyday is like a row of festivals which he skipped celebrating! Cooking together, partying, travelling or just lazying around, we do it all minus the work pressure! So, yes its a win win for me!
Since, we are still a couple I cannot say much about the parenting part but one thing I know that yes parenting will surely be a little challenging but I am not someone to worry about the future. I live in the present and make the most of it!
Yes, there is a constant fear of life as the seas are rough and you can do nothing about it but why think the worst! It is certainly not a faint heart person can handle!
One thing I would never ever like to change about my life would be my husband’s Navy uniform! I will never trade it with anything else. It fills me with immense pride when he wears it on board the ship on days like Independence Day/ Republic Day!
Being a Navy Wife doesn’t come easy but yes it is Worth it!