Has marriage killed the girl in you? /Married women tag

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 By Yuvika,
This tag is going around in the blogger world and when I read this fantastic post of Yuvika I knew I had to do this.But then the best idea would be that we all talk about this because these questions are actually well thought and of course well written by Yuvika.
The above question and a host of associated questions, including those below (reproduced from  tag), are ones that I have asked and answered so may a times myself.

 

Asked less, answered more than a trillion times friends, relatives, colleagues, and even random strangers!
I think my replies have varied only slightly based on my mood and disposition at that moment in time. Here I make a conscious effort to introspect, retrospect, and ummm, well, to be honest.
Before I bring on the volley of Qs, some basic facts Well into my 20’s, I have been married to the love of my life for more than three and a half years – and, oh boy, you could pass me as “well married”!
The Qs…
  • Are you more programmed, more regulated in your thoughts and deeds?
A definite yes! I have learned to think twice before I speak and act (in most situations I try to restrict my tongue-in-cheek responses to myself or to a close circle of dear ones), and coming from me, believe me, that takes a huge effort!
I am definitely more politically correct, diplomatic, and conforming to established institutions than I was a couple of years back.
This programming manifests itself in subtle ways I am more patient with relatives and extended family, I try to think from the other’s point of view (however I dumb it may be to start with :D), I have learnt to make allowances for nosey, pesky people around :p: :p.
  • Or are you simply calmer? Assuaged?
If I take this as a continuation of the previous question, my actions and reaction are definitely more controlled and in line with expectations, but somehow, (even though it may sound contradictory) the raving lunatic in me is not cured.
Assuaged? My husband will do a double somersault laughing his head off if I respond in the affirmative.
I am still the crazy person my friends and family swore on way back! My idiosyncrasies remain intact (touch wood) irrespective of the waves of time that keep crashing in!
I am still bonkers enough to break into a dance in the middle of the road, have ice cream for three meals a day, make inappropriate comments in public and then laugh out loud in an “unlady-like” fashion, threaten my husband with a call to 911 if he tries waking me up early in the morning (in India, can’t threaten him with 100 coz – it’s seldom answered), and make him blow balloons and decorate the cake-knife with a fancy ribbon to celebrate my birthday!
  • Are you still in love?
With whom? 😀
Ok, honestly, a resounding YES – Am still very much in love (phew, thank god!) with the person I married, with the wonderful family and friends I share my life with, and with the blessed life god has bestowed on me.
  • Or are you simply loving? Caring, fond and loyal..?
I wonder why this question begins with an ‘or’. Am I in love or am I simply loving?
Hell yeah, I am in love and I am loving to those who love me back!
I am no angel or saint; I care for people who matter to me.
I am fond of all the people I willingly include in my everyday life.
I am fiercely loyal to my loved ones – friends and family.
Marriage has not changed a thing or the intensity when it comes to love and loyalty. I was always the way I am now!
  • What does marriage do to you?
Lots :D!
Marriage makes you fall in love with your beloved all over again. Nothing like waking up to the brightest sunshine in your life.
Marriage convinces you that you made the best decision ever, coz there would be no other man in the whole world who would bring back the entire medical store for a slight cut.
Marriage makes you hate the guy you married when all his promises of love and never ending support are sacrificed at the altar of a stupid cricket match!
Marriage exasperates the life out of you when good-for-nothing relatives and well-wishers are waiting for the ever elusive “good news”.
Marriage makes you believe in the K-serials when you disagree with your MIL on the color of the curtains.
Marriage provides the much needed privacy from the ever-so-curious world outside. Finally, you can be there for each other, always, without having to explain your relationship status.
Marriage makes you independent and responsible and secure. People suddenly start taking you more seriously.
Marriage makes you dependent this one person controls your emotional and mental well being almost completely.
Marriage teaches you that life is not perfect as the Mills & Boons and Yash Chopras of the world will have us believe. There are tiffs, and there are misunderstandings, and it takes a lot of hard work to keep it all together for the sake of love.
But as in the end of all love stories, it is always well worth the effort you put in!
  • And finally the big one: Has marriage killed the girl in you?
NO! I would never let that happen. Vish would never let that happen. Though he would be happy if the girl in me grew up a bit in-keeping with my age, I still choose to believe he’d rather I stay the person he fell in love with it is the complete package you get, as we both often joke!
Having said that, life has its own way of moulding you into a more mature and understanding being.
With marriage comes a new chapter in your life, with new characters, new story lines, new plots, never-before-been-in situations, not-trained-for experiences but the individual that is you remains and must remain essential to the core whatever be the story!
Dreams don’t come true by making wishes on shooting stars, but don’t stop dreaming.
Love is also about you taking the first step forward no matter how huge your ego is, but don’t stop loving.
He seems to suffer from the most incurable form of amnesia when it comes to dates your first date, the date he proposed, your parents’ birthdays! But don’t stop celebrating (kick him, for sure!)
Miracles don’t happen always as per expectations, but don’t stop believing in them.
Faith and hope make the world go round!
Marriage is about accommodating, including and sharing, but don’t compromise the individuality and the uniqueness that define you.
Marriage is about being the doting wife, the responsible daughter-in-law and eventually the loving mother, but don’t let the girl in you die.
She should be the beautiful, inimitable foundation on which you build your life.
 So now its your turn guys…I tag every one who is reading this post.Come on don’t be lazy this time . Answer all these questions below and let us know weather marriage has killed the girl in you or not ?But before you start I am going to do this first.
You can visit Yuvika musing here  

19 COMMENTS

  1. Are you more programmed, more regulated in your thoughts and deeds?

    I a not that programmed but I wish to be like that..I try hard and hard and have succeeded quiet a bit in it but have a long way to go in this.I always make myself understand that understand the person first rather than take every one on their face value but I do this mistake all the time 🙁

    Calmer—-No one will agree to me but yes I am much more calmer and assauged ,,,mmm not sure 😛

    Are you still in love— Yes ..I am and thank God for it otherwise life would have no meaning for me.

    What does marriage do to you– Marriage gave me a best pal and more freedom which I always wanted..of course it gave me more responsibility as well.

    Biggest question- Has Marriage killed the girl in you—-

    There have been many incidents when I have thought that I will kill the girl inside me but I am always back with more energy and ready to face life..I know i am getting maturer but girl inside still remains in me..

    By the way I always wish for a baby girl so that we both girl do all our make up together 😛

    My recent post Make up tips-Concealer application

  2. He He….isn't great to have a baby girl..i think we woman can re live our child hood with them ..isn;t?
    My recent post Make up tips-Concealer application

  3. awwwwww Anupam….I sometime imagine myself putting blush on my baby cheeks…but then she will ruin all my makeup afterwards.

    blessed are those who have daughters…as they say ..son becomes a husband after marriage but daughter always remains a daughter.:)
    My recent post Make up tips-Concealer application

  4. Interesting post Yuvika…

    Yes Marriage has changed me but I am not sure weather the girl in me has been killed or not..I think the girl in me has become more mature and for me after marriage love becomes more of a responsibility which I enjoy.

    It is similar like parenting . We become parents we have our kids .Those kids trouble us , make us cry and make us laugh too but they become eternal part of us and we just can not think of departing from them.

  5. I will agree to you Manisha…

    You know when we get married only the guy is the focus but after marriage we realize that there many other things also which we never think off 😛

  6. i have a baby girl!!..she's 2yrs and 9 months and already knows a lot about makeup…LOL!!…ya am enjoing being friends with her!!..and looking forward to the days when she grows up being my friend..!

  7. I loved it toooo…Yuvika is a sweet heart..check out her blog and u will come to know:)
    My recent post Make up tips-Concealer application

  8. Then u can imagine yourself married to Tom cruize and write it in the comment:P
    My recent post Make up tips-Concealer application

  9. I am in love love love with this post dear. I foudn that i don't follow you on my other blog so started following adn saw this post. It's gonna be my favourite in my browser. Girl in me is always scared of "married" life but after reading your post, I am so content and prepared for everything. I love V and gonna love him more… wohoo…

    Thank you tons!! <3 a lot
    My recent post Raning grey and black

  10. Nice one…..will definitely answer this AFTER i get married…. 🙂 but yes it has given me a good insight to a what should you expect out of marriages…thanks ladies.

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